Things I Saw While I Was Out and the Lessons I Learned from Them

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I’m a pretty observant gal. I spent several years working with juvenile delinquents after I graduated college. Nothing exciting- it was like glorified babysitting of teenagers in handcuffs and filthy mouths with an occasional fight to brighten things up a bit. I’ve always been observant, but it was in that capacity where I honed my ability to always be aware of what’s going on around me. The habit remains years later, so when I’m out and about in my car or in public, I often see the things that most people never notice. It’s usually in seeing those little life events unfold in front of me that I find lessons about life. I always make little notes about the things I see- I usually keep them as a list on my phone and recently I was thinking that maybe you might find them interesting as well…

Once I was driving to the office and got stopped behind an accident. It wasn’t anything serious from what I could tell- it was an accident between a teenager on her way to school and someone else I didn’t see. While I was waiting for the light to turn I sat watching the events unfold in front of me. The girl was talking to a police officer when her mom pulled up in the nearby parking lot. Mom quickly walked toward her daughter and as the girl saw her mom coming toward her, she broke into a full cry. Mom quickly wrapped her into a big hug and rocked her back and forth, running her hand through her daughter’s hair. The girl’s face was buried in her mom’s shoulder, and I’m sure Mom was telling her, “it’s ok, it’s just a car, you’re ok and that’s all that counts.” I broke out in a full cry myself, watching from my car.

The lesson? What great power we have to make or break a moment or an individual, to be able to boost confidence or tear someone down, to be able to offer comfort or instill fear. And with that power, you know it, comes great responsibility. Choose wisely.

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Last week I was driving through the streets of Moline. If you’re not from the Quad Cities, here’s the thing… there are a lot of wooded areas and hills intertwined among the city streets. And I don’t know if it’s relevant that this is the home of John Deere, but there are a lot of deer in these here parts. In fact, I see more deer in town than I ever see in the country. So one day last week I was driving on a well-traveled street and I noticed a mama deer and fairly new fawn, with sweet, little, white spots on its back, attempting to cross this busy road. Baby Deer was sticking very close to Mama and not moving any further than her back leg. I stopped quite a way back to give her plenty of space, but so did the oncoming car, which kind of surprised me, because you know, people are usually distracted. Mama and baby walked out into the middle of the road and then she must’ve suddenly realized she was surrounded by potential danger. She stopped and stood still for a little while, re-assessed the situation and then must’ve felt safe enough to proceed. They finished the journey to the other side and headed to the wooded area nearby. By this time, there was a good-sized line behind me and the car opposite me.

Where’s the lesson in that? Patience. It was a delightful thing to watch- this careful mama, trying to protect her little one, while all of us, without honking and frustration, just waited until she felt safe before we moved. Slow down. There’s more going on in the world than whatever you’re up to at that moment.

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Another day, I was crossing over Duck Creek and witnessed an old man walking across the bridge with a little boy, skipping alongside him. Both were carrying fishing poles and the man had a small tackle box. An old man, sharing his time and talent and ultimately, love, with this little man, who was obviously jubilant about this outing.

Spend time with the ones you love– they can be gone in the blink of an eye. Take a break from work and tech and enjoy what the earth has to offer.

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I was at Hy-Vee over the weekend and a huge SUV had just pulled in on my driver’s side, so I waited with my bag of groceries until everyone got out before I headed to my driver’s door. The teenager in the backseat carefully opened his door but when he tried to get out, the door got away from him and smacked my driver’s sideview mirror. He cringed in the saddest way and looked at me like a wounded animal. “I’m so sorry. I am really sorry,” he said. I just smiled and said, “don’t worry about it. Really”. He apologized again and just then his dad got out of the SUV and began to apologize profusely, but I just laughed and said, “it’s a car. No one’s hurt.” 

I thought back to a couple of years ago in the same parking lot when I was putting my groceries in my car and the old man next to me got out, slammed his door, got in my face and yelled at me for hitting his car with my door. He had a white SUV and my car is black. There was literally NO mark on his car, but he threw a fit. He spat while he yelled in my face and then he ripped off his glasses to get a better look at his car and the supposed “dent” I left.  There was nothing. But I left that parking lot in tears.

Perspective. In the grand scheme of things, this kid did his best to not hit my car and accidents happen. It’s just a thing. I didn’t lose a limb. Accidents happen to all of us. Give some grace, be kind.

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Last Sunday, Scott and I were sitting in our spot in church, waiting for Mass to start. A woman who sits several rows in front of us arrived- she’s very sweet and is always happy to see us. She’s just the kind of person you know takes good care of others. She usually sits with her daughter and grandson. A few minutes later, her daughter arrived and when she got to the pew where her mom was, her mom gave her a big smile and stood up to let her in. As her daughter was walking past her, Mom placed her hand on the side of her daughter’s face and kissed her on the cheek. Her daughter smiled and patted Mom’s arm and sat down. I began to cry right then and there (so glad I sit in the last pew). What I wouldn’t give to have my mom alive and be happy to see me when I walk into a room and kiss me hello.

Be grateful– appreciate the time you have with the ones you love while they are still on this earth. Appreciate your many blessings. Because whether or not you realize and regardless of how crappy your life might seem at times, your life is abundant with blessings.

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I was sitting at a stop sign one morning and there was a little boy in front of his house. He was throwing a wiffle ball up and hitting it with a bat. But the best part of this scene was that after he hit the ball, he ran around the yard in a circle, like he was running the bases. When he got to “home plate”, he jumped on it with two feet and cheered for his little self, arms up in the air, jumping up and down. It made me laugh and the lesson there is this- Keep it simple. Life doesn’t have to be complicated to be fun. Teach your kids the value in being creative, having an imagination and being able to produce their own entertainment, even when they’re alone.

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I went to work early one day a couple weeks ago- like 6:30 AM. I passed a little boy on a bike. He was grade school age and looked like he might be coming back from an overnight stay somewhere. Both hands were on the bike handles but between one of his hands and the handlebar was the paw of a brown teddy bear.  Cling to and hold close the things that offer comfort and security.

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Today, again in the car, (hey, I’m a Realtor. I drive a lot), I was driving down Crow Creek. There was a little guy, probably 5, on a tiny two-wheel bike. He was running from a garden, toward his bike, which was parked on a sidewalk, with a bunch of flowers in his hand. I have no idea if that’s his family’s garden or not, but I’m guessing it isn’t. Regardless, I hope that the recipient of those flowers made a huge deal about how beautiful those flowers are and how thoughtful that little boy is. And I hope whoever planted that garden didn’t get upset at this little guy who just wanted to make someone’s day.

Be grateful for the little things because those are the things you’ll miss the most when that little boy is all grown up, has muscles and drives a fire truck or is living four states away and working full time. It’s good for kids to learn to give of themselves and when they do, especially without encouragement, make a big deal out of it.

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I was driving on that same road a while back and there was a dead squirrel on the shoulder. Next to him were two other squirrels who were very much alive and seemingly very distraught about their little friend. In my head, I conjured up a story that the three of them were chasing each other around the nearby yards and up and down trees and then this little guy ran out into the road and got squashed. I imagine his two little friends cried out, “NO!” as they watched him meet his demise and then ran to him in hopes they could save him, only to be deflated that their playful, furry friend had met his maker.

Later that day though, as I was coming back the other direction, instead of one dead squirrel, there were three. I am not kidding. 

The lesson? Sometimes bad things happen, but don’t be a dumbass and stand around on a busy road, thinking about it.

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It’s been a while since this happened but it has stuck with me for years, which is why I saved it for last. I was sitting in the Notre Dame campus Basilica before Mass started. We were there about an hour early because it gets packed on a Saturday night. There was a college student in one of the pews up toward the altar. His backpack was in the pew next to him, but what has stayed with me is how he was positioned. He was kneeling on the kneeler, but his body from the chest up was slumped over the back of the pew in front of him. One arm was hanging down in front on the seat and his head was resting on the elbow of his other arm. He was either fast asleep or praying hard, but whatever the case, I watched him for a long time, thinking about all the pressures he must be under and that life must’ve worn him out. I was just so happy that he found a place where he could lay down his heavy burdens and find solace. And isn’t that so important? When life gets hard, you need a place to recuperate and recharge. Wherever that is for you, visit that place often and make a connection with something that keeps you grounded. Life is heavy. We have lots of responsibilities, fears, worries and expectations. When it gets to be too much, you have to hand it off to something greater than yourself. I hope you have a place like that. But most of all, I wish for you the ability to always take in small moments that surround you, truly see their beauty and learn great lessons from them.